Choice, Chance and Change..

While talking to a good friend and browsing Pinterest, I found a quote that perfectly sums up my life at this moment.

"You must make the CHOICE, to take the CHANCE, if you want anything in life to CHANGE."

Youre probably wondering...what has Courtney been up to?! Why is she terrible at keeping her blog up?! Well, to get you all off the edges of your seats. Thats what I am about to explain. 

First things first, I now live in the motherland of all Mormons; UTAH! I dramatically (like any twenty two year old would do..) left my comfortable living conditions at home and in my home state, where it is a constant 75 degrees and moved my entire life to Utah. Where currently, it is a consistent 30 degrees almost always. But, I LOVE IT. Utah is a special place to me. And most likely always will be. As a convert to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I do not have family that lives in Utah or some descendants that helped form the church. In fact, I am a pioneer in my own sense of the word. For those just tuning in, I was baptized three years ago into the church. See earlier posts for a more detailed story here ;) So, do you see why I am writing about change yet? 

Since moving to this glorious state, I have realized a few things:

•  Our choices directly effect our lives and how they are changed, whether for good or for bad. 
• This means that absolutely everything we do has purpose and meaning in our lives. It is often our choices that make us who we are and determine who we associate ourselves with as well. 

 Before moving, I was in a bubble of comfort. I had everything I needed. Friends, Family, my church life, a job. But I started realizing how comfortable I had become. I knew the ins and outs of my life in San Diego and I wasnt progressing. I had just been called into a leadership position shortly before moving and I was so excited. I felt like I was needed and I had purpose. I was ready to get to work to help change things and make things better. But, the Lord definitely had different plans for me.

• The people you surround yourself with will eventually make you or break you.
• Its true what they say, you are who you hang out with..or is it what you eat? Who knows..either way, its 100% true in both forms. Your friends, family members and cohorts make you who you are. Choose wisely. 

This I learned through much heartbreak. Its one of those life lessons that you will always be learning and perfecting and that is totally ok. Just hopefully you learn from your mistakes and dont live your life regreting every decision youve made. I recently read a quote that reads:

"Not one drop of my self-worth depends on your acceptance of me."

I have begun a process of weeding out those who make this quote a true statement. Meaning, if you make me feel like I need to change who I am and what I believe, in order to gain your love, acceptance, friendship, charity, anything..its not worth it. At all. We as human beings, desire love. We have all heard that famous quote that says the greatest of all is to love and be loved. And we have formed ourselves to think that lowering or changing who we are for someone else is how we gain that love. And often times, when were heart broken or hurting or in a vulnerable spot, people tend to take advantage of that. Now, I dont mean this to be a bash on people, I am truly greatful for all those I have watched enter and leave my life one way or another because each of them have taught me more and more about myself and just how much God truly loves us. 

• I am through with pointless living. 

I have this poem that I recieved on my mission called the Fellowship of the Unashamed. It is a beautiful tribute to the Lord, Jesus Christ and how this one individual makes a vow to stop his pointless living.

I am part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed."

The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line.

The decision has been made. I am a disciple of

Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down,

back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present

makes sense, and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with low living, sight walking,

small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams,

chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position,

promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by

presence, lean by faith, love by patience,

lift by prayer, and labor by power. My pace

is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my

road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few,

my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought,

compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back,

diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the

presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy,

ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander

in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until

Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know,

and work until He comes. And when He comes to get

His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.

My colors will be clear.

This changed my life on my mission and as I read it still today, it continues to change who I am. Because I too, am done with pointless living. I am ready to live the life the Lord wants for me. I am ready to give this life my all and to have no regrets, live fearlessly and love with all my heart, no matter how often it gets broken. That is the most beautiful thing about this life. We get to experience pain, so we may know just how great that love and happiness can feel.

So, in closing, I have learned that it is our CHOICE to take these CHANCEs that we are blessed with and CHANGE what we want to CHANGE. We need to stop living in fear of what is unknown and rejoice in what we do know. And that is a personal journey in which I invite you all to take. If you dont know what youre supposed to know, challenge yourself to find out. Ask questions. Have courage and seek the things that God would want for you to seek. It wont be easy, it wont be a quick journey, but I promise you, it will be worth it. I know with all my heart that the Lord guides us. And when we promise to Him to make a CHOICE, to take a CHANCE and make the CHANGE, we truly can be the happiest we deserve. Life is too short to live in fear of what might be, so embrace love. Embrace goodness. Embrace who YOU are as God's literal son or daughter. I promise you, it will change your life.